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Postcards from the Trip

So, how do you write a book? Well, it begins with a series of steps.

You start out kind of smug. You clean your desk. You think how great this book’s going to be…

You go to the kitchen and start plotting. Backstories come to you. The urge to drink coffee and snack on cake, too.

And eventually you get it all figured out. On paper anyhow.

Things are tidied. You take a trip to Creemore for a few visuals.

So, you start writing.

Your desk is ready for you. Short, fat, black dog is on duty.

 You are moving along like lightening. Or so you think.

But the cat knows. She lifts her head and says, “Psst. Hey you down there. Wake up, mutt. She’s going to hit the wall any minute. Be alert. Be ready. Coffee cake will be in the offing.”

And verily (because this is the perfect time to say verily), it comes to pass that the writer hits an impasse. Ooops. What to do?

Ah, back to the kitchen. We’ll figure it out there.

(Dog to cat: hey, do you think she’ll have coffee cake?) 

(dog on duty: see blanket, bottom of right hand picture).

Thinking gets kind of difficult. You move to the family room.

Cat on duty. See black splotch on red/gold blanket.

 Short, fat, black dog offers his opinion.

You don’t know WTF you’re doing, do you? (will there be coffee cake?)

Then you’re into DEADLINE HELL.

It’s a heedless, headless, desperate slog to the end. All you have to do is sit there and write the end of the book. Just go ahead. Sit. And write. And drink coffee. And go for pees because you’ve drank alot of liquids. And write. And give up on the concepts of

Laundry  and other stuff…some of it quite important.

 Free space on your desk shrinks.

Until finally…you’ve finished it. You’ve opened up your email account, you’ve attached it, and composed a cheery letter to your editor.

 You hit send.

And then you’re done.

You know what happens next, right?

Book 3.

Someone tell the dog.

13 Comments

  • Kerry Schafer
    Posted April 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm | Permalink

    I love the box of bandaids on the side table. : ) Great post, and congrats on getting done!!

  • Posted April 3, 2012 at 10:30 pm | Permalink

    The photos are priceless, but you don’t show enough pictures of empty coffee cups and random candy wrappers. Chocolate. That’s what’s missing. Love the dog, though. I have a schnauzer that growls at me all day.

    • Posted April 4, 2012 at 10:45 am | Permalink

      I have to hide the evidence of my candy addiction. Wrappers are buried under trash.

      • Posted April 4, 2012 at 11:02 am | Permalink

        Your secret is safe with me. Got any Peanut M&Ms?

        • Posted April 5, 2012 at 5:44 pm | Permalink

          I went through my stash during the dreaded deadline hell. Looks like I’m on carrots until I can squeeze into my regular pants again:-(

  • Posted April 4, 2012 at 12:49 am | Permalink

    This was very entertaining and hits close to home.

  • B
    Posted April 4, 2012 at 2:01 am | Permalink

    Just for the record, your dog is not fat! I have seen cocker spaniels much much much much much fatter! Clearly he deserves a special mention on the inside cover of your book!

    As does that cat, even though I’m sure she generally treated you with indifference she was morally supporting you in her… erm.. sleep!

    Congrats again Leigh!!

  • Posted April 4, 2012 at 10:46 am | Permalink

    Oh yes, I know how that goes….No matter everything we go through we still love it and do it over and over.

  • Posted April 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm | Permalink

    OH YEAH! haha… I just have to factor in 3 kidlets…

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