I’ve reached THAT point in the book. Where I am convinced that I’m the worst writer in the world and I’ll never turn this manuscript into something I’m proud of. The first time I encountered this strange dip in enthusiasm for my work-in-progress, I put it down to a blip–I was rewriting the last 100 pages of The Trouble With Fate. Well, I was digging deep there. Of course I was going to feel…not joyful.
Then the same ugly stew of worry tripped me as I sprinted for the end of The Thing About Weres.
So. Not a blip.
This is part of my “writing process”–falling into a horrible, despairing, sleepless angst over the final product.
It’s annoying. I’ve spent most of my life being relatively low maintenance, and now, I’m all drama, drama, drama. Frankly, I’m about as much fun to be around as Anne Boleyn the night before her little neck adjustment.
Everything’s about “the page.” What’s on it, what should go on it, what ISN’T on it.
The PAGE.
I want it to be over. Done. Finished. Perfect. But here’s the hangnail on the thumb I’m holding up: I see the scene, and it is everything I want it to be. And then I start writing it. And it’s not what I want it to be
.
Which brings us back down to THE PAGE.
I guess Neil Gaiman said it best…
4 Comments
Hi Leigh,
I came across your page as I am just about to publish a review of your book on my blog. The positive review was written by a guest reviewer and I will post you a link when its up.
I sympathise with this post and I thought you may be heartened by a post I wrote a while ago. If you get a chance have a read. Its called, WHOSE AFRAID OF A LITTLE BLANK PAGE. http://susanmaywordadventures.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/whos-afraid-of-little-blank-page.html I hope it heartens you. My reviewer really enjoyed your book.
Hi Leigh,
I came upon your site as I am just about to post a review up on my book review blog. Its written by a guest reviewer who enjoyed your book. I read this post and sympathise with you. So, I thought you may find some inspiration in a blog post I wrote a while ago entitled WHO’S AFRAID OF A LITTLE BLANK PAGE which I think you will find echoes your feelings. It also has a great quote from Thomas Keneally. http://susanmaywordadventures.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/whos-afraid-of-little-blank-page.html I wish you well with your second book. My reviewer really enjoyed it and I will post you the link once I have it up.
Thanks, Susan! I’m on the third book–you’d think it would get easier:-)
Leigh I am beginning to understand it never gets easier when it comes to self-doubt. Your writing gets better but your ego is always vulnerable. Its part of the job, I think. Not sure if I gave you the link to the review of your book either but here it is http://anadventureinreading.blogspot.com.au/2013/01/the-trouble-with-fate-by-leigh-evans.html
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